Sunday, October 16, 2011

Separation anxiety

When we moved to Heritage Baptist Church, Tucker didn't have any trouble adapting at all.  He went right into his class without any tears at all.  We didn't expect anything less from him - he loves life and people, and rarely meets a stranger.

However, after we'd been here about a month, all of a sudden, he fell apart.
Screaming when we even pulled in the parking lot of church.
Yelling "I no go to my class" as I haul him inside the children's wing.
Sobbing his little heart out for 45 minutes or more in his class.
Crying himself to sleep in his class, literally.

It was so out of character for him that it was heartbreaking for me.
Right around 2, Lana had some separation anxiety as well.  But he's just so different than she is, we maybe weren't prepared for this from him - we certainly weren't prepared for the intensity of it!  (Although everything Tucker does is intense, so silly us.)

One Wednesday night, I couldn't bear it, so I went and sat in his classroom.
I just held him and spent some time talking to Mrs. Mary and Mrs. Sandy, his teachers.
Thankfully, he has the same teachers Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights.
I just needed to talk to them, to see how they felt about his separation issues.
I was so relieved!
They are two of the sweetest, most loving women I have ever met.
They were so compassionate towards him, and assured me that they would help him get through this.
We came up with a gameplan that night:
I was going to continue to do our typical drop-off: a quick hug and kiss, a reminder that Mommy would always come back, and then gone.  No coming back.
I also decided to start talking to him about it throughout the week, talking him through the process.

It took about 6 (looooong) weeks for him to get the hang of it, but for 3 weeks or so, he's done well going into his class.
He will tell me on the way to church "Mommy go to Mommy class, Tucker go to Tucker class, Lanny go to Lanny class, Daddy go to Daddy class.  Mommy always come back!  Together.  Then we all together."

I'm so thankful that he seems to be moving out of that very difficult phase.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude for Mrs. Sandy and Mrs. Mary and how well they've loved my boy!  They have been such a beautiful picture of the gospel, of selfless love for my boy.

I just have to show you one of the tender things they did for him during this time.
They know he loves Diego, so in hopes of getting him separated from me happily, they brought him this Diego toy.  He absolutely fell in love with it, and plays with him through the day, every day.

I'll never look at Diego the same way again....
he'll always make me think of the sweet way that Mrs. Mary & Mrs. Sandy have loved my boy.

1 comment:

  1. Any ideas on dealing with seperation anxiety with a 17 month old? E screams and cries every single time we drop him off at the church or gym nursery. Every. time. Completely beaks my heart.